Ever felt that way? I sure have. Scales used to be...scary. They even have a scary name. It reminds me of lizards and snakes and dinosaurs. And if you've ever heard a little kid talk, scale can sound a lot like scare...
But today the tears I felt like crying were tears of joy. I'm sure you want to know why, but first I have to back up.
Remember that workbook I mentioned a few posts back? It's helping me retrain my thoughts about food and habits and goals and health. In one of the first lessons it asked me to put down goals. One of my goals was to be 125 lbs and in size 6 pants by my birthday. At the time, my birthday was a couple months away so the goal seemed achievable. It was just a goal anyways. I don't normally actually reach my goals. Especially not health related goals.
Well, the last several weeks, my weight loss has slowed down a bit. Most weeks I lost maybe a pound. Some weeks the scale said the same thing. I knew I was losing inches, but my weight wasn't reflecting. And most of the inches weren't in my legs/bum, so I was still in size 10 pants. Last week I weighed in at 129.
So Sunday I was flipping through what I'd already done in the workbook and I saw my goals. I reread them and laughed because there was no way in heck that I was going to get to size 6 pants and be 125 lbs by my birthday. That was 5 days away. Not happening. I then promptly forgot the experience.
On Monday I got on the scale to discover I had lost 4 lbs! 4 lbs in one week! That was more than I'd lost any week but my first week on the program! I was so excited to be down 4 lbs I didn't realize the significance of the scale saying 125.
On Wednesday my sister commented that my pants were too big. I saggy bum syndrome (you know, when the bum of the pants is bigger than your bum). I laughed about it and said I didn't have any size 8 pants so I was just going to have to have saggy bum for a while.
Thursday morning while getting ready I had a spontaneous urge to try on my jeans from my box of too small pants. They fit. They're a little tight, but they fit. They're size 6.
Even then, the importance of this didn't dawn on me. I rushed out the door and about my day. Because I'd been running late, I didn't get to take a shower until the afternoon. It was the first time I'd had a breather all day and my brain wandered through different things that had happened to me and then, FINALLY, it clicked. A few tears might have trickled down, but it's hard to tell in the shower. I know I felt like crying. A lot.
I had reached my goal with less than 24 hours to spare.
Call it a blessing, a miracle, fate, karma, the universe, whatever you want, it was pretty amazing in my opinion. Dropping 4 lbs almost 2 sizes in less than a week was probably the best birthday present I'll get this week. Not because I'm thin, but because it proves I can do it. I can achieve my goals and get healthy. I am officially DOING, not "weighting." It's a good feeling. I am starting the 24th year of my life as a new, healthy me.
